Chili Perez:

Our Blue Book Diary story this month comes from a young lawyer we shall call "Tom" to protect his real identity, who has just graduated from law school and has passed the State Bar exam. Tom was an exceptional law student at the top of his class from a we althy and influential family. With the help of his fathers influence and a sharp intellect Tom was quick to land a job with a large and long standing corporate law firm. Tom, a tall attractive twenty four year old athlete, had been keeping what he thought to be a dark secret from his family and friends all his life. Tom was gay. His fear of rejection from family and friends and now a larger fear of the effect being openly gay might have on his career had convinced Tom that he must continue to hide his sex ual preference. However, Tom was starting to have a hard time controlling his desire to be with another man and to experience the sexual fulfillment he had denied himself since puberty. During high school, college and law school Tom dated women to keep up appearances but recently he had started to be haunted by relentless sexual dreams which came to him each night and left him in a cold sweat every morning with memories of erotic images composed of himself and one or more male lovers. Tom has now decided he must explore his true sexual nature- we now find Tom preparing to go out on a warm summer Friday evening in search of his first gay sexual encounter. He feels he must travel outside the city in which he lives and works in order to keep his private life a secret. Tom has heard stories of gay men meeting at rest stops on the highways and byways outside the city for anonymous sexual exploits thus keeping identities as well as social lives separate from sexual desire.